His plans are not our own

I’ve been thinking a lot about our baby lately—sometimes the sadness still overwhelms me, while, other times, I find myself longing to know who she would have been.  I dream about when I will get to meet her in Heaven, and I am so thankful that she didn’t have to experience any of the hurt and pain that come with living on Earth.  For eternity, she will only know love and joy.   David and I don’t talk about her much—even 2 years later, I think the sadness is too strong, the wound is too fresh.   And, I don’t think either of us wants to seem ungrateful for the 2 amazing miracles that we already have.  I remember in the days after the miscarriage, when I wanted to just curl up in my bed and shut out the world, Grayson was the reason I had the strength to keep on living.  He didn’t know it then, and he still doesn’t now, but he is my protector—he kept away the sadness just enough that it didn’t completely overtake me.  And, more often than not, he continues to keep it away, even today. Then, sweet Finnley—I am not sure if I can put into words all that she has done for her Mommy in the last 23 months.  As I have said before, she was a spitfire from the moment she was conceived.  Even today, she takes my breath away with the size of her personality and the depth of her love.  Through Finnley, I have seen that God’s plans truly are greater than ours. He kept Finnley just for David and I, and He gave her to us when we needed her most.  No one could ever replace our Angel.  No one.  But, we also wouldn’t have had our sweet Finn, if the Lord hadn’t decided to keep our Angel for himself.   His plans are so much greater than our own. 

As I think of how His plans have worked for me, I can’t help but think about David.  When I was younger, I dreamt of my future husband and family, just as every little girl does.  I remember looking at my mom and wondering if I would be like her.  As I got older, moved to Tennessee, and began seriously dating guys, I would always ask, “Is this who God has picked for me?”  When I fell in love, I fell completely, and I fell hard.  And I would always end up heartbroken.  Then, in January 2004, I fell in love with my best friend, Daniel, and I thought for certain God’s plan was finally coming together.  I changed my wishes to finish graduate school in Nashville, and I moved to Memphis in July 2005 to start a life with him. 

Fast forward to January 2007, and I was sitting alone in the empty apartment that Daniel and I had shared just days before.  He was thousands of miles away (on another continent) and I was left to try and piece my life back together.  It was in that time that the Lord taught me independence.  For my entire life, even when I didn’t want to admit it, I had depended on someone else for things—but mostly to make me feel loved.  When Daniel left, I didn’t have anyone else to depend on but myself.  So, over the next year, I had adventures, I travelled, I made mistakes, I found life-long friends, I lived by myself, and I fell in love with Esther.  I continued spending my days teaching children with Autism, just as I had been the first week I moved to Memphis in July 2005.  The families who invited me into their homes became my families, and I learned more during that time that I could have ever thought possible.  It was one of those dear families who introduced me to David one sunny afternoon in April 2008. 

See what I mean about God’s plan?  WOW!  What seems to me like the most topsy-turvy-backwards-upside-down path is really a straight line along God’s path for my life.  Before I was even born, He had already planned my life.  He already knew the pain I would suffer and the joys I would celebrate, the heartaches and the happiness, the ups and the downs.  He knew, and all He wanted was for me to look to Him in all of it. I feel like the Lord is getting ready to do big things in my life.  I am not exactly sure what those things are, but I have felt him moving lately.  He has been speaking to me more than ever before (or is it that I’m listening more than ever before)?  I have a stirring inside me that is full of energy, but I am not yet sure where to focus it most.  I am so excited to see what comes of this and what God has in store.  Looking back over my life, He has never let me down and He has never left my side. 

We made it to the other side!

Exhausted.

Now, believe me, I have been exhausted before.  I was an exhausted mother of a newborn who woke up every hour on the hour to eat for the first month of his life.  I was an exhausted working mother of a hyper 15 month old who was also 9 months pregant--oh, and moving into a new house--all at the same time.  I was an exhausted working mother of 2 children under 2 who suddenly both refused to sleep through the night--but would wake up at different times just to mess with me.  But this week has been the cheery on the top of the exhausted sundae.  I don't remember the last time that my body actually revolted out of lack of energy. 

It all started last Sunday when David woke up after working the night before and said he didn't feel very good.  We had some errands we had to do, so we stopped by Walgreens on the way and I drugged him up with all the cold medicines, throat drops, and other potions I could find.  I had to work late in Jackson on Monday, so David had the kids all to himself.  When I got home, I could tell he was feeling worse.  I gave him more drugs and he seemed to be doing okay. Then, early Tuesday morning, David woke me up shaking.  I immediately knew it was fever.  And it was.  102.5.  YIKES!  I took him to the doctor that afternoon, and the doctor confirmed my guess: it was the flu.  Let me tell you, that is not a fun thing to hear, especially when you have a 2 year old and a 1 year old who adore their daddy.  So $200 in Tamiflu later, we settled in for what I knew was going to be a long week.  I prayed that the kids wouldn't get sick, but I mostly prayed that I wouldn't get sick, too.  I know that sounds selfish, but, we really needed at least 1 healthy parent.  There is NO WAY we would have survived if both of us were stuck in bed as sick as David was. 

Unfortunately, David was scheduled to work 6 days in a row--and there was no chance that he was going to be able to go into work each night and not pass out.  So, for the next 2 days, I made phone calls, talked to managers, and arranged coverage for David working--which was tough because there were only 2 healthly managers out of the 9 that work with David.  It was like a pandemic hit his job.  David HAD to go back to work Friday night, because there was just no one who could cover for him, but at least he was able to have those 3 days off at home to try and rest. 

Grayson came home for school on Thursday with a fever of 102, so I put him in bed with David and let them be the sick boys together. 

The rest of the week and weekend is a blur.  David was working and when he wasn't working he was sleeping because he felt so awful.  Grayson and Finnley were just a whirlwind of hyperness and sleepiness.  Let's just say, I was not a good mom at all over the weekend.  I yelled, I got frustrated, I just survived.  I'm not proud of myself. 

By Monday morning, Finnley was way more fussy than normal, Grayson was back to himself, and David was coughing so hard he was practically passing out.  I took Finnley to the doctor, knowing she was fine but wanting to make sure, and planning on going to work for at least a few hours since I hadn't worked since the previous Monday.  Well, the doctor shot down those hopes when he told me she had an ear infection.  So, more medicine, more fussiness, and more money to the doctor.  UGH.  At one point that day, I just sat in my car and cried.  I completely broke down.  I know it sounds so stupid to say that--I mean there are single moms who do this every day and don't complain, there are parents of kids who are horribly sick who do this for months on end and don't complain.  Here I am just holding down the fort for a week and I'm in my car crying like a baby.  You know what, though?  I don't really care if anyone else thinks it's silly--this week was HARD no matter which way you look at it, and I was over it.  OVER. IT. 

I even had to do some crafting because I was so stressed.  The fact that I turned to crafting actually cracks me up since I have not a creative bone in my body.  :)

Thankfully, this morning, everyone seems to be back to their old selves.  David is feeling better. The kids are back to school.  And I am at home, trying to play catch-up on paperwork, cleaning this house, and my energy.  We shall see how that goes.  :)

A couple random things:
1.  We were able to spend some time yesterday at a local lake.  The kids LOVED being outside and chasing the geese.  It was so fun being able to get everyone out and in the fresh air. 

2.  In the next week or so, I will be once again completing the Advocare 24-Day Challenge.  I did this back in August and had fabulous results, so I am excited to do it again. 

I will be documenting my journey here, so be sure to check in!

Okay, back to catching up on my work.  Here's my view for the rest of the day:

As always, we love you all! 

A touch of reality

Hello All,
I have been feeling kind of eh, lately--not bad, but just not upbeat or excited about anything in general.  I'm not sure what is going on: maybe it's because it's Monday, maybe because it's raining, I don't know. 

Anyway, I feel like, sometimes, I come across on this blog like everything is hunky-dory, like our life is perfect.  Then, this morning, as I was catching up on some of my blog reading, I saw that Caroline posted about this very thing.  So, I decided to copy her a bit.  :)

Let me tell you, our life is far from perfect. 

If you're married, then you know that marriage is hard.  It's so hard, y'all!!  And then, add kids on top of that, and it's almost like you forget why you even married that person in the first place.  Now, don't get me wrong, I love my husband so so so so much.  He is so supportive, and funny, and handsome, and sweet, and kind, and caring.  He is so much more than I even deserve!  But, we can get on each others' nerves and just drive each other plum crazy.  Sometimes, I find myself wondering why our relationship isn't like it was when we first met.  And then I realize, it's because I am a totally different person than I was back then.  And so is David.  Our love for each other has grown and changed along with us--and that's okay...because it is always constant and never-ending.  I thank the Lord every day for that. 

 

 

Anyway, back to my topic.  Life is crazy, and not at all the perfect little picture I'm sure it sounds like it is on here:

• Grayson has such a smart mouth, and sometimes I just want to lose my mind with him.  He has started telling me that I need to stop at stop signs; he will yell "GO MOMMY!" the minute the traffic light turns green; if we ask him why he did something, he will say, "cuz" and expect us to accept that as an answer; he openly rebells against everything we say; and he throws a tantrum from another planet at the drop of a hat.  It's exhausting, y'all.  But, then, he will come up to me and say, "Give me a kiss, Mommy," and it's hard to remember the 100 frustrating things he did just 5 minutes before.
• Finnley is a D.I.V.A.  She has an attitude that I fear is only going to get worse with age.  She hates to be picked up and will kick and scream bloody murder until we put her down.  Last week, I was in a hurry so I was carrying her through a store.  She screamed and squealed the entire time--I'm pretty sure a couple people thought I was kidnapping her. 
• When we are out in public and the kids are acting crazy, it gets on my last nerve when people look at me like I need to do better at controlling them.  I have resorted to looking them in the eye and saying, "I have 2 kids for sale if you want them."  They usually look at me uncomforably and walk away.  I just might take them up on the offer to take them, though.  Just kidding.
• I take my frustrations out on my husband.  I know I shouldn't, but I do.  Like this morning, the kids woke up an hour early and both were in our bedroom tearing it apart.  I was running late, and I was frustrated.  My poor husband came home and caught the brunt of it.  If I have had a bad day at work, or if it's been a particularly bad day where the kids just don't listen to me, I tend to yell and roll my eyes, even when I know I shouldn't.  David is a saint for putting up with me, y'all. 

 

I remind myself of this saying often:

and it makes me feel a ton better about the bad times.  In 10 years, I won't even remember them--all I will remember is the times our family had laughing, playing, and loving...in between breaking up fights, eye rolls, and fussing at each other, of course.  :)

 



And, just one more dose of reality:

They are my heart.

 

 

As always, thanks for checking in!

We love you all!!!

 
 



Life Happens

I always start each new month with hope that things will go smoothly.  I make my schedule for work, organize all my paperwork, try to spend a day getting the house in order, pay all the bills so I don't have to worry about that anymore, and then I usually take one day off just for some ME time.  Lord knows I can use all the ME time I can possibly get.  :)  Inevitably, though, each month, something goes wrong and the month turns to chaos.  In January, it was Finn getting sick, followed by Grayson's surgery, followed by snow days, followed by us all getting the stomach bug.   I started January off with a much more manageable schedule, so thankfully the chaos was manageable.  (For the past several months, I had been working around 165 hours a month.  Well, we hired someone new to take over some cases, so I have started working closer to 135 hours.  Of course, less hours mean less money....but, it also means a much less stressed and happier Esther.  I know the entire family is thankful for that.)  BUT, it was still stressful, nonetheless.

As I mentioned in my last post, I spent some time last week getting our rental house in order.  I also spent some time trying to get my work life in order.  Then, on Thursday, my husband and I took some time for us.  We had a much needed date day!  :)  We started off the day by goign to lunch.  Let me tell you, a lunch without kids is so relaxing!  I mean, we didn't fully appreciate how nice it is to be able to eat our food without a kid dropping a toy on the floor, or screaming, or spilling a drink.  We literally savored out meal.  Then, we went to the movies.  I honestly can't remember the last time we went to the movies.  We saw "Zero Dark Thirty."  It was really good.  I normally don't like war movies, but I really like this one.  And, it wasn't too political--which I was definitely thankful for. 
Friday, I spent the day in meetings, then I rushed home to get ready for our Girls' Night.  It was so. much. fun.  Seriously.  We drank wine, ate snacks, and bought jewelry.  Seriously--it can't get any better than that! (Plus, I got ove $300 in jewelry and only spent $85!) David is on weekends this month, and I hate the months he works weekends.  That means he sleeps during the day while I have both stinkers to myself.  I love my kids so so so so much, but they are so crazy on the weekends--and I just don't get any relief.  Saturday, we took a 3 hour drive around Memphis.  3 hours...that just shows how crazy they are.  Sunday, we took a ride over to our old house to check out the painting process, and then we came back home for lunch.  Grayson spent 2 hours in his room, but never napped.  Just one of those days.  That afternoon, Finnley and I went to a birthday party, while Grayson and Daddy played with the neighbors.  Overall, it has been a good month so far.  :)

Some random notes:

• I broke down and ordered an Erin Condren Life Planner.  I got one 2 years ago, but decided that I would just stick to the planners I can buy at Target.  Well, this past week, they were having a sale, and I just couldn't help myself.  I love that I am able to keep all of my stuff in one place instead of trying to keep 3 separate calendars straight.  I can't wait until it comes!!
• Grayson has started talking back to us, and it is so hilarious and frustrating at the same time.  The other day, we were walking around Hobby Lobby, and he decided to start screaming, "Don't be so bossy, Mommy!" He has also become quite the little backseat driver.  The minute the light turns green, he yells, "It's green! Go, Mommy!" I try to savor these moments and not get upset at hime when he tells us to "shut up" or says something is "stupid." (Seriously!??!  Where is he picking this stuff up?) I know one day I will miss it. 
• I am starting to see just how smart Finnley is.  She still doesn't talk much, but she listens so well!!  I can tell her to pick up her cup, find her foo-foo, get her dolly, etc, and she does it.  She also has started nodding yes.  She doesn't listen all the time, though--she has learned from her brother and has become quite the little trouble-maker.  :)
• My grandma and grandpa Plank were in a car accident yesterday.  They were driving home and were hit by a semi at a stop light.  The semi driver ran a red light and then didn't even stop after he hit them!  Thank goodness, they weren't seriously injured.  Grandpa had a nasty bump on his head.  They had trouble getting Grandma out of the car because of the way they were hit, and they thought she had some broken bones in her hand and leg, but she doesn't.  She is just banged up pretty badly.  She will be in the hospital for a few days and then will go to a rehab hosptial for a while.  She had a stroke several months ago and has made amazing progress--so we are praying this won't hinder her too badly.  Please pray for them.  I have a feeling some tough decisions are ahead for our family.

As always, thanks for checking in on us.  We love you all!

A little help from my friends....

Good morning, y'all! 
I don't know about you, but I am so thankful it's Thursday!!  :)

This week has been a little crazy for us.  I am so blessed that my job is as flexible as it is, because it's weeks like this that I would lose my mind if it was any other way:

Last year, we were unable to sell our house before we moved into our new home in C-ville.  We had it listed for several months, and had several viewings, but nothing panned out in terms of a buyer.  SO, we decided to try to rent it out.  Thankfully, my very good friend and her friend decided to move in, and the past year has been great.  I don't know if any of you have ever been landlords, but it is extremely stressful--it was a comfort knowing that we had people living in our house who we knew were responsibe and actually take care of it.  Well, fast forward a year, and both girls have had some major life happenings.  We are so so so happy for both of them!!!  BUT, it means that we are now back to looking for someone to rent out house...again.  UGH.  So, Monday, I spent the morning at the house touching up some paint, cleaning, and generally just getting it ready.  David came over in the afternoon and mowed the yard while I worked on the flower bed.  By the time we left that afternoon, we were ready for our rental management agecny to take over.  They will be fixing some carpet spots, doing a deep clean, and painting.  Please pray they find renters sooner than later!!!

Yesterday, we spent the day in Dickson with David's mom and grandmother.  I always love visiting with them, but it makes for such a whirlwind of a day.  By the time we got home last night, we were all exhausted.  BUT, it was a fun day!

Now what the heck does the title of this post mean????  Well, we are going through a time with Grayson that I am just completely befuddled about.  I just don't know what to do.  For the past 2 weeks or so, he has been having trouble going to sleep each night--he keeps crying and yelling out that he is scared.  When we ask him what he is scared of, he says of monsters and dinosaurs.  We have talked at length with him each day and at night before bed about how monsters and dinosaurs aren't real (I mean, it's close--you can't really explain extinction to a 2 year old), and about how Mommy and Daddy will make sure he's safe.  Yet, he will still cry for at least an hour each night!  I feel like us going in there over and over and over is actually making it worse--and part of me feels like he may not be as scared as he wants us to believe.  Have any of you gone through anything like this before???  Last night, David took a flashlight into Grayson's room and told him that it was a special flashlight that would make the monsters and dinosaurs go away.  We told him to shine the flashlight and tell them to "Go away!  I'm sleeping!"  That seemed to work a little bit, and I heard him in there telling whatever he was scared of to "Go away!  I sleeping!"...but, he still cried for over 45 minutes.  I know he's tired when he goes to bed, so putting him to bed later won't help, I'm sure.  HELP, friends!!!  Any ideas of how to help our little boy????

2 Years

**I wrote this on January 28, 2013, but needed a few days before posting it.  So, here it is! Love you, Sweet Baby B!

24 months.

720 days.

January 28, 2011 was 2 years ago—in some ways it can seem like a lifetime ago.  So much has happened since then: Grayson has turned 1 and then 2, 2 Christmases, moving to a new house, finding out I was pregnant and then giving birth to Finnley, losing family members, saying goodbye to old friends and hello to new friends, Finnley turning 1, weddings, births, and so much more. 

Yet, it also feels that those minutes, days, and months have flown by.  The pain of that day is still so fresh, so overwhelming, and so intense that I can’t understand how 2 years have passed.  I guess that’s how it is when something so life changing happens.

A part of me died the day we learned our baby’s heart had stopped beating. My world collapsed around me, and I haven’t been the same since.  Sure, I am happier now than I have ever been.  Ever.  But, I now carry a bit of sadness with me that wasn’t there before.  Some days I’m a little sadder than others—but each and every day, I feel it.  All the time, it is there. 

David and I were talking yesterday about our baby, and the party that she was sure to be having in Heaven.  Then, we both looked at Finnley as she was standing in front of us, looking up into our eyes with a huge toothy grin on her face.  She was laughing and bouncing up and down as her toy played music.  My heart just about exploded with the love I have for her.  David looked at me and said, “You know, we would never have Finnley if our baby hadn’t gone to Heaven.”  And, it hit me.  He was right.  God had Finnley picked out especially for us—and, though I have no idea why he decided to keep our angel with him—he knew how badly we needed Finnley, and how she absolutely completed our family from the minute we found I was pregnant.

Life here on Earth is just temporary, and it is full of heartache and hurt.  There are many times that I dread the pain that Grayson and Finnley will feel in their life.  I wish that I could protect them from every evil, so they could have a lifetime filled with only joy and happiness.  But, that’s just not possible.  Maybe that’s why God decided to keep our angel in heaven.  He made her so special, that He just didn’t want to give her up—only he is able to protect us from the bad stuff—and He wanted to make sure he did just that with our baby.  

The days, months, and years will continue to pass, and life will continue to go on.  But, I don’t ever want to stop celebrating those 12 weeks we had with our sweet baby. 

Happy Birthday in Heaven, Little One.  Your family loves you so much.

Recycle what ya got!

I always make the excuse that I have nothing to wear, but this week I decided to try and be creative with what I already had in my closet. (It also helps that I recently lost 4lbs, thanks to Mr. Stomach Bug.)

I had to layer a lot this week because the weather in Tennessee is crazy. It literally has gone from the 30s to the 70s to the 20s. Ugh. I also used the little creativity I have and made some scarves from tshirts that were too stretched out for me to wear anymore. I love scarves--and it's obvious since I wear one every day. :)

 

As always, thanks for checking in on us!  We love you all!

Weekend Getaway

This past weekend, we made a trip to Missouri to visit my BFF, her hubby, and their doggie (Bosco).  I love love love love the times we get to visit with them, and I am so sad that we aren't able to visit more often. 

For those of you who are new to the blog, my BFF is the oh-so-wonderful Kim. 

We met way too long ago in college, and she has been my rock ever since.  Seriously.  She is my sister from another mister.  Kim has been the one constant in my life for the past 10+ years: through the boys, the breakups, the drama, the moves, the marriages, the babies, the heartbreaks, the celebrations, the joys, the pains, and everything in between.  I can always always always count on Kim to love me, even if she doesn't like me.  She's the kind of friend that you can go for months without talking to (which has happened, unfortunately), but when you answer the phone, it's like you never stopped.  I am so thankful for her!  And, I am so thankful for her hubby--he has become family, too!  :)

We picked the kids up from school on Friday afternoon.  Grayson was so excited--he couldn't stop saying that he was going to Missouri for the weekend to see Aunt Kim and Uncle Travis and play outside.  :)  We were hoping he would get a little nap on the way--instead, he talked the whole trip.  Hey, he gets it from his Mama.

(I really wish I had taken more pictures of the weekend, but it just was too crazy chasing the kids around and trying to keep them from tearing the entire house apart.)

Anyway, we met Kim and Travis at Lambert's for dinner.  The kids LOVED it!  Finnley is our little nosey Rosey, so she had a blast just watching the people that walked by.  Grayson kept standing up in the booth with a look of awe on his face (between bites of fried okra and rolls with sorgham, of course), and trying to catch the rolls that were tossed our way.  David and I were exhausted by this point, and so happy to be with our friends.

We headed back to the house for some sleep, and, after fighting to get Grayson to calm down in bed, we hit the hay.  Saturday was spent relaxing, eating, napping, watching movies, going to look at animals, looking at choo-choos, terrorizing Bosco, and relaxing some more.  It was great.  The boys went to pick up some deer meat, and when they got back, Grayson came running in the house telling me all about the tractors and bulldozers and dumptrucks he saw.  He loved looking at the Turkeys and baby quails, and he was so excited when he got a firetruck from the store.  He and Bosco were fast friends--Bosco licked Grayson's ears and Grayson chased Bosco around the house until both were exhausted.

On Saturday night, I enjoyed drinking an entire bottle of wine all by myself.  :)  I can't remember the last time I did that!

 



 

We headed back home on Sunday morning, and the kids barely made it out of the driveway before they crashed. 

We took the scenic route home (through West Tennessee), and stopped in Covington for lunch.  It was such a fun time with my little family--I cherish moments like that.

The entire weekend went by too quickly, as every weekend we spend together does.  I wish that we had been able to spend more time together, but it was so enjoyable just being in a place where I could be myself, no pretenses, 100%.  We have already made plans to head back up in the Spring!!

Thanks for having us, Kim and Travis!  We love you so much!!

Finnley's Birthday Party

Because of Grayson's surgery, we had to push Finnley's party back a week.  So, we celebrated it this past Sunday.  The weather couldn't have been more awful--it was cooooollld and raining.  :(  But, it was definitely festive inside!!

 

 

 

 

 

We invited family and close friends over for munchies, cake, and presents.  At first, Finnley was pretty overwhelmed, but she soon warmed up and enjoyed her time as the center of attention. 

 

 

 

Mom made the smash cake.  At first, Finn wasn't really sure what to do with it--she soon figured it out, though.  She even screamed when I took it away! 

Then, it was time for presents.  WOW!  Finnley was spoiled.

Thank you to everyone who came and celebrated with us!!  It was a very special day for our famliy.

I cannot believe that our little girl is already a year old.  I just know I will turn around and we will be celebrating her 16th birthday.  It makes me sad that she is growing up so fast. 

Surviving at Toddler Tonsilectomy: Part 1

On January 5, we took Grayson to Methodist Germantown Hospital to have a tonsilectomy.  We had to be there super early: 6:00am!  Needless to say, no of us were too thrilled to be on the road before the sun came up, especially not Grayson.

 

We arrived to the hospital, got signed in, and headed back to the surgery center.  Grayson wasn't sure what was happening, and I could tell he was pretty nervous about everything.  I was so thankful when we got to our room and they had a television!  Grayson curled up with me on the bed and we watched the Disney Channel until it was time for the doctor to come in.  When he saw the doctor, he got pretty upset.  :(

 



 

 

 

 

When it was time to head back to surgery, I cried my eyes out.  It was so hard to put my baby in those nurses arms and hear him scream as they walked away.  About 20 minutes later, the doctor came in and said Grayson did great.  His tonsils were HUGE, and the doctor said to expect Grayson to have quite a bit of pain.  He went over all the medications (stressing that we needed to make sure we didn't let more than 4 hours go between doses of pain medicine for the first several days), and then it was time to head back to the recovery room.

 

Grayson had an awful time coming out from anesthesia.  He screamed and cried and screamed some more.  He just couldn't understand what was going on.  David and I tried to comfort him, but he just was too upset.  The nurses brought him popscicles, but he didn't want anything.  He just wanted to be cuddled.  While we were in the recovery room, David and I began to see that we were in for a not-so-great hospital stay.  It was a Saturday, so there weren't many patients there, and I guess the nurses thought that they could be more laid back, too.  The first thing I noticed that I didn't like was the fact that they brought Grayson OJ to drink.  During our pre-op appointment, the doctor had stressed that Grayson was not to drink any citrus following surgery...and now the nurse is bringing him OJ????!!  Then, to make things even worse, the nurses begin to complain about their paychecks and schedule right in front of us. Now, don't get me wrong--we all complain about those things...but maybe, just maybe, you should wait to do so until you aren't standing right in front of a mom and dad trying to calm their screaming kid who just woke up from surgery.

 

 

We were wheeled across the hospital to the LeBonheur Floor of the Women's and Children's Pavillion.  David and I both had a sigh of relief when we found out we would be on the LeBonheur Floor.  We have had great experiences with LeBonheur, and we just felt a sense of comfort about the rest of our stay.  When we arrived in our room, Grayson got all settled in and finally decided he wanted to try eating a bit of yogurt.  I think by this time the pain medicine was finally kicking in.

 



 

 

I was so glad Grayson was able to get some rest because David and I sure weren't.  I ran out to get some of his prescriptions filled, and David stayed back with Grayson.  I had to get out for a bit because I was sooooooo frustrated.  The nurses were just awful.  Grayson screamed and cried whenever it was time to take medicine, and the nurses kept trying to force Grayson to eat and drink.  David and I knew it needed to happen, but we also knew, as his parents, that he would eat and drink when he was ready.  The more he was forced, the more he would resist.  Also, for some reason, the nurses couldn't understand how to dose his medicine every 4 hours.  At one point, the nurse even had to counnt on her fingers when the next dose should be and she STILL GOT IT WRONG!  Our whole stay, David and I had to remind the nurses to give the pain medicince, and, most of the time, David had to give it to him.  By about 5:00pm, David and I were ready to just sign Grayson out and take him home--the IV (and the fear of dehydration) was the only thing that kept us there.

 

David ended up staying at home that night, and I stayed at the hospital with Grayson.  We knew how important it was that at least one of us get some sleep.  All night, the nurses kept coming in and out of the room.  I knew they needed to, but I didn't think they needed to slam the door open and shut every time.  Needless to say, this Mama wasn't pleasant by the time morning came around.

Grayson woke up at 5:30am screaming in pain.  I ran out to the nurses' station and asked them if it was time for him to have some pain medicine.  I couldn't believe how non-chalantly the nurse said, "Oh, it's past time."  Was she seriously telling me that Grayson wasn't given a dose of his medicine??!!  When I counted back, I realized it had been almost 8 hours since the last time they gave it to him.  That was the last straw.

 

Grayson screamed and cried because he hurt so bad, and he refused to eat and drink.  By that time, he hadn't had anything in almost 24 hours.  There was a cloud of worry hanging over my head because I knew he had to eat and drink something before they would discharge him.  I had already come to terms with the fact that we would be in the hospital another night.  At one point, he was so upset and out of control that he threw his cup, hitting me in the face.  I ended up with a fat lip.  I started crying--it hurt, and I was so upset for my baby boy.  I couldn't believe this was all as awful as it was.

 

I have never been so relieved to see my husband (and he never looked so good to me) as he did that morning when he walked in at 6:00am carrying doughnuts and Starbucks.  Thank heavens he was here with me once again.  I chugged my coffee and ran to the bathroom to hide (and take a shower).  I was just so overwhelmed and worried about Grayson.

 

By the time I came out, David had worked his magic.  It's amazing what that man can do, and how much Grayson just adores him.  I walked out of the bathroom to find that Grayson had eaten, not 1, but 3(!!!!) doughnuts and was drinking cups of chocolate milk.  Thank you, Lord!!!!  That meant that we would be able to go home sooner than later. 





 

 

By 10:00am, we had been discharged and we were ready to head home.  I don't think I could have packed our things any quicker than I did. 

 

We arrived home around noon, and Mom met us there with Finnley.  (It was her first birthday!!)  We tried to get the kids settled in, but that never really happened until bedtime....

More on all that later, though.    :)

 

 

Thanks for checking in on us!  We love you all!