I have been feeling kind of eh, lately--not bad, but just not upbeat or excited about anything in general. I'm not sure what is going on: maybe it's because it's Monday, maybe because it's raining, I don't know.
Anyway, I feel like, sometimes, I come across on this blog like everything is hunky-dory, like our life is perfect. Then, this morning, as I was catching up on some of my blog reading, I saw that Caroline posted about this very thing. So, I decided to copy her a bit. :)
Let me tell you, our life is far from perfect.
If you're married, then you know that marriage is hard. It's so hard, y'all!! And then, add kids on top of that, and it's almost like you forget why you even married that person in the first place. Now, don't get me wrong, I love my husband so so so so much. He is so supportive, and funny, and handsome, and sweet, and kind, and caring. He is so much more than I even deserve! But, we can get on each others' nerves and just drive each other plum crazy. Sometimes, I find myself wondering why our relationship isn't like it was when we first met. And then I realize, it's because I am a totally different person than I was back then. And so is David. Our love for each other has grown and changed along with us--and that's okay...because it is always constant and never-ending. I thank the Lord every day for that.
Anyway, back to my topic. Life is crazy, and not at all the perfect little picture I'm sure it sounds like it is on here:
- Grayson has such a smart mouth, and sometimes I just want to lose my mind with him. He has started telling me that I need to stop at stop signs; he will yell "GO MOMMY!" the minute the traffic light turns green; if we ask him why he did something, he will say, "cuz" and expect us to accept that as an answer; he openly rebells against everything we say; and he throws a tantrum from another planet at the drop of a hat. It's exhausting, y'all. But, then, he will come up to me and say, "Give me a kiss, Mommy," and it's hard to remember the 100 frustrating things he did just 5 minutes before.
- Finnley is a D.I.V.A. She has an attitude that I fear is only going to get worse with age. She hates to be picked up and will kick and scream bloody murder until we put her down. Last week, I was in a hurry so I was carrying her through a store. She screamed and squealed the entire time--I'm pretty sure a couple people thought I was kidnapping her.
- When we are out in public and the kids are acting crazy, it gets on my last nerve when people look at me like I need to do better at controlling them. I have resorted to looking them in the eye and saying, "I have 2 kids for sale if you want them." They usually look at me uncomforably and walk away. I just might take them up on the offer to take them, though. Just kidding.
- I take my frustrations out on my husband. I know I shouldn't, but I do. Like this morning, the kids woke up an hour early and both were in our bedroom tearing it apart. I was running late, and I was frustrated. My poor husband came home and caught the brunt of it. If I have had a bad day at work, or if it's been a particularly bad day where the kids just don't listen to me, I tend to yell and roll my eyes, even when I know I shouldn't. David is a saint for putting up with me, y'all.
I remind myself of this saying often:
and it makes me feel a ton better about the bad times. In 10 years, I won't even remember them--all I will remember is the times our family had laughing, playing, and loving...in between breaking up fights, eye rolls, and fussing at each other, of course. :)
And, just one more dose of reality:
They are my heart.
As always, thanks for checking in!
We love you all!!!
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