A touch of reality

Hello All,
I have been feeling kind of eh, lately--not bad, but just not upbeat or excited about anything in general.  I'm not sure what is going on: maybe it's because it's Monday, maybe because it's raining, I don't know. 

Anyway, I feel like, sometimes, I come across on this blog like everything is hunky-dory, like our life is perfect.  Then, this morning, as I was catching up on some of my blog reading, I saw that Caroline posted about this very thing.  So, I decided to copy her a bit.  :)

Let me tell you, our life is far from perfect. 

If you're married, then you know that marriage is hard.  It's so hard, y'all!!  And then, add kids on top of that, and it's almost like you forget why you even married that person in the first place.  Now, don't get me wrong, I love my husband so so so so much.  He is so supportive, and funny, and handsome, and sweet, and kind, and caring.  He is so much more than I even deserve!  But, we can get on each others' nerves and just drive each other plum crazy.  Sometimes, I find myself wondering why our relationship isn't like it was when we first met.  And then I realize, it's because I am a totally different person than I was back then.  And so is David.  Our love for each other has grown and changed along with us--and that's okay...because it is always constant and never-ending.  I thank the Lord every day for that. 

 

 

Anyway, back to my topic.  Life is crazy, and not at all the perfect little picture I'm sure it sounds like it is on here:

• Grayson has such a smart mouth, and sometimes I just want to lose my mind with him.  He has started telling me that I need to stop at stop signs; he will yell "GO MOMMY!" the minute the traffic light turns green; if we ask him why he did something, he will say, "cuz" and expect us to accept that as an answer; he openly rebells against everything we say; and he throws a tantrum from another planet at the drop of a hat.  It's exhausting, y'all.  But, then, he will come up to me and say, "Give me a kiss, Mommy," and it's hard to remember the 100 frustrating things he did just 5 minutes before.
• Finnley is a D.I.V.A.  She has an attitude that I fear is only going to get worse with age.  She hates to be picked up and will kick and scream bloody murder until we put her down.  Last week, I was in a hurry so I was carrying her through a store.  She screamed and squealed the entire time--I'm pretty sure a couple people thought I was kidnapping her. 
• When we are out in public and the kids are acting crazy, it gets on my last nerve when people look at me like I need to do better at controlling them.  I have resorted to looking them in the eye and saying, "I have 2 kids for sale if you want them."  They usually look at me uncomforably and walk away.  I just might take them up on the offer to take them, though.  Just kidding.
• I take my frustrations out on my husband.  I know I shouldn't, but I do.  Like this morning, the kids woke up an hour early and both were in our bedroom tearing it apart.  I was running late, and I was frustrated.  My poor husband came home and caught the brunt of it.  If I have had a bad day at work, or if it's been a particularly bad day where the kids just don't listen to me, I tend to yell and roll my eyes, even when I know I shouldn't.  David is a saint for putting up with me, y'all. 

 

I remind myself of this saying often:

and it makes me feel a ton better about the bad times.  In 10 years, I won't even remember them--all I will remember is the times our family had laughing, playing, and loving...in between breaking up fights, eye rolls, and fussing at each other, of course.  :)

 



And, just one more dose of reality:

They are my heart.

 

 

As always, thanks for checking in!

We love you all!!!

 
 



Life Happens

I always start each new month with hope that things will go smoothly.  I make my schedule for work, organize all my paperwork, try to spend a day getting the house in order, pay all the bills so I don't have to worry about that anymore, and then I usually take one day off just for some ME time.  Lord knows I can use all the ME time I can possibly get.  :)  Inevitably, though, each month, something goes wrong and the month turns to chaos.  In January, it was Finn getting sick, followed by Grayson's surgery, followed by snow days, followed by us all getting the stomach bug.   I started January off with a much more manageable schedule, so thankfully the chaos was manageable.  (For the past several months, I had been working around 165 hours a month.  Well, we hired someone new to take over some cases, so I have started working closer to 135 hours.  Of course, less hours mean less money....but, it also means a much less stressed and happier Esther.  I know the entire family is thankful for that.)  BUT, it was still stressful, nonetheless.

As I mentioned in my last post, I spent some time last week getting our rental house in order.  I also spent some time trying to get my work life in order.  Then, on Thursday, my husband and I took some time for us.  We had a much needed date day!  :)  We started off the day by goign to lunch.  Let me tell you, a lunch without kids is so relaxing!  I mean, we didn't fully appreciate how nice it is to be able to eat our food without a kid dropping a toy on the floor, or screaming, or spilling a drink.  We literally savored out meal.  Then, we went to the movies.  I honestly can't remember the last time we went to the movies.  We saw "Zero Dark Thirty."  It was really good.  I normally don't like war movies, but I really like this one.  And, it wasn't too political--which I was definitely thankful for. 
Friday, I spent the day in meetings, then I rushed home to get ready for our Girls' Night.  It was so. much. fun.  Seriously.  We drank wine, ate snacks, and bought jewelry.  Seriously--it can't get any better than that! (Plus, I got ove $300 in jewelry and only spent $85!) David is on weekends this month, and I hate the months he works weekends.  That means he sleeps during the day while I have both stinkers to myself.  I love my kids so so so so much, but they are so crazy on the weekends--and I just don't get any relief.  Saturday, we took a 3 hour drive around Memphis.  3 hours...that just shows how crazy they are.  Sunday, we took a ride over to our old house to check out the painting process, and then we came back home for lunch.  Grayson spent 2 hours in his room, but never napped.  Just one of those days.  That afternoon, Finnley and I went to a birthday party, while Grayson and Daddy played with the neighbors.  Overall, it has been a good month so far.  :)

Some random notes:

• I broke down and ordered an Erin Condren Life Planner.  I got one 2 years ago, but decided that I would just stick to the planners I can buy at Target.  Well, this past week, they were having a sale, and I just couldn't help myself.  I love that I am able to keep all of my stuff in one place instead of trying to keep 3 separate calendars straight.  I can't wait until it comes!!
• Grayson has started talking back to us, and it is so hilarious and frustrating at the same time.  The other day, we were walking around Hobby Lobby, and he decided to start screaming, "Don't be so bossy, Mommy!" He has also become quite the little backseat driver.  The minute the light turns green, he yells, "It's green! Go, Mommy!" I try to savor these moments and not get upset at hime when he tells us to "shut up" or says something is "stupid." (Seriously!??!  Where is he picking this stuff up?) I know one day I will miss it. 
• I am starting to see just how smart Finnley is.  She still doesn't talk much, but she listens so well!!  I can tell her to pick up her cup, find her foo-foo, get her dolly, etc, and she does it.  She also has started nodding yes.  She doesn't listen all the time, though--she has learned from her brother and has become quite the little trouble-maker.  :)
• My grandma and grandpa Plank were in a car accident yesterday.  They were driving home and were hit by a semi at a stop light.  The semi driver ran a red light and then didn't even stop after he hit them!  Thank goodness, they weren't seriously injured.  Grandpa had a nasty bump on his head.  They had trouble getting Grandma out of the car because of the way they were hit, and they thought she had some broken bones in her hand and leg, but she doesn't.  She is just banged up pretty badly.  She will be in the hospital for a few days and then will go to a rehab hosptial for a while.  She had a stroke several months ago and has made amazing progress--so we are praying this won't hinder her too badly.  Please pray for them.  I have a feeling some tough decisions are ahead for our family.

As always, thanks for checking in on us.  We love you all!

A little help from my friends....

Good morning, y'all! 
I don't know about you, but I am so thankful it's Thursday!!  :)

This week has been a little crazy for us.  I am so blessed that my job is as flexible as it is, because it's weeks like this that I would lose my mind if it was any other way:

Last year, we were unable to sell our house before we moved into our new home in C-ville.  We had it listed for several months, and had several viewings, but nothing panned out in terms of a buyer.  SO, we decided to try to rent it out.  Thankfully, my very good friend and her friend decided to move in, and the past year has been great.  I don't know if any of you have ever been landlords, but it is extremely stressful--it was a comfort knowing that we had people living in our house who we knew were responsibe and actually take care of it.  Well, fast forward a year, and both girls have had some major life happenings.  We are so so so happy for both of them!!!  BUT, it means that we are now back to looking for someone to rent out house...again.  UGH.  So, Monday, I spent the morning at the house touching up some paint, cleaning, and generally just getting it ready.  David came over in the afternoon and mowed the yard while I worked on the flower bed.  By the time we left that afternoon, we were ready for our rental management agecny to take over.  They will be fixing some carpet spots, doing a deep clean, and painting.  Please pray they find renters sooner than later!!!

Yesterday, we spent the day in Dickson with David's mom and grandmother.  I always love visiting with them, but it makes for such a whirlwind of a day.  By the time we got home last night, we were all exhausted.  BUT, it was a fun day!

Now what the heck does the title of this post mean????  Well, we are going through a time with Grayson that I am just completely befuddled about.  I just don't know what to do.  For the past 2 weeks or so, he has been having trouble going to sleep each night--he keeps crying and yelling out that he is scared.  When we ask him what he is scared of, he says of monsters and dinosaurs.  We have talked at length with him each day and at night before bed about how monsters and dinosaurs aren't real (I mean, it's close--you can't really explain extinction to a 2 year old), and about how Mommy and Daddy will make sure he's safe.  Yet, he will still cry for at least an hour each night!  I feel like us going in there over and over and over is actually making it worse--and part of me feels like he may not be as scared as he wants us to believe.  Have any of you gone through anything like this before???  Last night, David took a flashlight into Grayson's room and told him that it was a special flashlight that would make the monsters and dinosaurs go away.  We told him to shine the flashlight and tell them to "Go away!  I'm sleeping!"  That seemed to work a little bit, and I heard him in there telling whatever he was scared of to "Go away!  I sleeping!"...but, he still cried for over 45 minutes.  I know he's tired when he goes to bed, so putting him to bed later won't help, I'm sure.  HELP, friends!!!  Any ideas of how to help our little boy????

2 Years

**I wrote this on January 28, 2013, but needed a few days before posting it.  So, here it is! Love you, Sweet Baby B!

24 months.

720 days.

January 28, 2011 was 2 years ago—in some ways it can seem like a lifetime ago.  So much has happened since then: Grayson has turned 1 and then 2, 2 Christmases, moving to a new house, finding out I was pregnant and then giving birth to Finnley, losing family members, saying goodbye to old friends and hello to new friends, Finnley turning 1, weddings, births, and so much more. 

Yet, it also feels that those minutes, days, and months have flown by.  The pain of that day is still so fresh, so overwhelming, and so intense that I can’t understand how 2 years have passed.  I guess that’s how it is when something so life changing happens.

A part of me died the day we learned our baby’s heart had stopped beating. My world collapsed around me, and I haven’t been the same since.  Sure, I am happier now than I have ever been.  Ever.  But, I now carry a bit of sadness with me that wasn’t there before.  Some days I’m a little sadder than others—but each and every day, I feel it.  All the time, it is there. 

David and I were talking yesterday about our baby, and the party that she was sure to be having in Heaven.  Then, we both looked at Finnley as she was standing in front of us, looking up into our eyes with a huge toothy grin on her face.  She was laughing and bouncing up and down as her toy played music.  My heart just about exploded with the love I have for her.  David looked at me and said, “You know, we would never have Finnley if our baby hadn’t gone to Heaven.”  And, it hit me.  He was right.  God had Finnley picked out especially for us—and, though I have no idea why he decided to keep our angel with him—he knew how badly we needed Finnley, and how she absolutely completed our family from the minute we found I was pregnant.

Life here on Earth is just temporary, and it is full of heartache and hurt.  There are many times that I dread the pain that Grayson and Finnley will feel in their life.  I wish that I could protect them from every evil, so they could have a lifetime filled with only joy and happiness.  But, that’s just not possible.  Maybe that’s why God decided to keep our angel in heaven.  He made her so special, that He just didn’t want to give her up—only he is able to protect us from the bad stuff—and He wanted to make sure he did just that with our baby.  

The days, months, and years will continue to pass, and life will continue to go on.  But, I don’t ever want to stop celebrating those 12 weeks we had with our sweet baby. 

Happy Birthday in Heaven, Little One.  Your family loves you so much.

Recycle what ya got!

I always make the excuse that I have nothing to wear, but this week I decided to try and be creative with what I already had in my closet. (It also helps that I recently lost 4lbs, thanks to Mr. Stomach Bug.)

I had to layer a lot this week because the weather in Tennessee is crazy. It literally has gone from the 30s to the 70s to the 20s. Ugh. I also used the little creativity I have and made some scarves from tshirts that were too stretched out for me to wear anymore. I love scarves--and it's obvious since I wear one every day. :)

 

As always, thanks for checking in on us!  We love you all!

Weekend Getaway

This past weekend, we made a trip to Missouri to visit my BFF, her hubby, and their doggie (Bosco).  I love love love love the times we get to visit with them, and I am so sad that we aren't able to visit more often. 

For those of you who are new to the blog, my BFF is the oh-so-wonderful Kim. 

We met way too long ago in college, and she has been my rock ever since.  Seriously.  She is my sister from another mister.  Kim has been the one constant in my life for the past 10+ years: through the boys, the breakups, the drama, the moves, the marriages, the babies, the heartbreaks, the celebrations, the joys, the pains, and everything in between.  I can always always always count on Kim to love me, even if she doesn't like me.  She's the kind of friend that you can go for months without talking to (which has happened, unfortunately), but when you answer the phone, it's like you never stopped.  I am so thankful for her!  And, I am so thankful for her hubby--he has become family, too!  :)

We picked the kids up from school on Friday afternoon.  Grayson was so excited--he couldn't stop saying that he was going to Missouri for the weekend to see Aunt Kim and Uncle Travis and play outside.  :)  We were hoping he would get a little nap on the way--instead, he talked the whole trip.  Hey, he gets it from his Mama.

(I really wish I had taken more pictures of the weekend, but it just was too crazy chasing the kids around and trying to keep them from tearing the entire house apart.)

Anyway, we met Kim and Travis at Lambert's for dinner.  The kids LOVED it!  Finnley is our little nosey Rosey, so she had a blast just watching the people that walked by.  Grayson kept standing up in the booth with a look of awe on his face (between bites of fried okra and rolls with sorgham, of course), and trying to catch the rolls that were tossed our way.  David and I were exhausted by this point, and so happy to be with our friends.

We headed back to the house for some sleep, and, after fighting to get Grayson to calm down in bed, we hit the hay.  Saturday was spent relaxing, eating, napping, watching movies, going to look at animals, looking at choo-choos, terrorizing Bosco, and relaxing some more.  It was great.  The boys went to pick up some deer meat, and when they got back, Grayson came running in the house telling me all about the tractors and bulldozers and dumptrucks he saw.  He loved looking at the Turkeys and baby quails, and he was so excited when he got a firetruck from the store.  He and Bosco were fast friends--Bosco licked Grayson's ears and Grayson chased Bosco around the house until both were exhausted.

On Saturday night, I enjoyed drinking an entire bottle of wine all by myself.  :)  I can't remember the last time I did that!

 



 

We headed back home on Sunday morning, and the kids barely made it out of the driveway before they crashed. 

We took the scenic route home (through West Tennessee), and stopped in Covington for lunch.  It was such a fun time with my little family--I cherish moments like that.

The entire weekend went by too quickly, as every weekend we spend together does.  I wish that we had been able to spend more time together, but it was so enjoyable just being in a place where I could be myself, no pretenses, 100%.  We have already made plans to head back up in the Spring!!

Thanks for having us, Kim and Travis!  We love you so much!!

Finnley's Birthday Party

Because of Grayson's surgery, we had to push Finnley's party back a week.  So, we celebrated it this past Sunday.  The weather couldn't have been more awful--it was cooooollld and raining.  :(  But, it was definitely festive inside!!

 

 

 

 

 

We invited family and close friends over for munchies, cake, and presents.  At first, Finnley was pretty overwhelmed, but she soon warmed up and enjoyed her time as the center of attention. 

 

 

 

Mom made the smash cake.  At first, Finn wasn't really sure what to do with it--she soon figured it out, though.  She even screamed when I took it away! 

Then, it was time for presents.  WOW!  Finnley was spoiled.

Thank you to everyone who came and celebrated with us!!  It was a very special day for our famliy.

I cannot believe that our little girl is already a year old.  I just know I will turn around and we will be celebrating her 16th birthday.  It makes me sad that she is growing up so fast. 

Surviving at Toddler Tonsilectomy: Part 1

On January 5, we took Grayson to Methodist Germantown Hospital to have a tonsilectomy.  We had to be there super early: 6:00am!  Needless to say, no of us were too thrilled to be on the road before the sun came up, especially not Grayson.

 

We arrived to the hospital, got signed in, and headed back to the surgery center.  Grayson wasn't sure what was happening, and I could tell he was pretty nervous about everything.  I was so thankful when we got to our room and they had a television!  Grayson curled up with me on the bed and we watched the Disney Channel until it was time for the doctor to come in.  When he saw the doctor, he got pretty upset.  :(

 



 

 

 

 

When it was time to head back to surgery, I cried my eyes out.  It was so hard to put my baby in those nurses arms and hear him scream as they walked away.  About 20 minutes later, the doctor came in and said Grayson did great.  His tonsils were HUGE, and the doctor said to expect Grayson to have quite a bit of pain.  He went over all the medications (stressing that we needed to make sure we didn't let more than 4 hours go between doses of pain medicine for the first several days), and then it was time to head back to the recovery room.

 

Grayson had an awful time coming out from anesthesia.  He screamed and cried and screamed some more.  He just couldn't understand what was going on.  David and I tried to comfort him, but he just was too upset.  The nurses brought him popscicles, but he didn't want anything.  He just wanted to be cuddled.  While we were in the recovery room, David and I began to see that we were in for a not-so-great hospital stay.  It was a Saturday, so there weren't many patients there, and I guess the nurses thought that they could be more laid back, too.  The first thing I noticed that I didn't like was the fact that they brought Grayson OJ to drink.  During our pre-op appointment, the doctor had stressed that Grayson was not to drink any citrus following surgery...and now the nurse is bringing him OJ????!!  Then, to make things even worse, the nurses begin to complain about their paychecks and schedule right in front of us. Now, don't get me wrong--we all complain about those things...but maybe, just maybe, you should wait to do so until you aren't standing right in front of a mom and dad trying to calm their screaming kid who just woke up from surgery.

 

 

We were wheeled across the hospital to the LeBonheur Floor of the Women's and Children's Pavillion.  David and I both had a sigh of relief when we found out we would be on the LeBonheur Floor.  We have had great experiences with LeBonheur, and we just felt a sense of comfort about the rest of our stay.  When we arrived in our room, Grayson got all settled in and finally decided he wanted to try eating a bit of yogurt.  I think by this time the pain medicine was finally kicking in.

 



 

 

I was so glad Grayson was able to get some rest because David and I sure weren't.  I ran out to get some of his prescriptions filled, and David stayed back with Grayson.  I had to get out for a bit because I was sooooooo frustrated.  The nurses were just awful.  Grayson screamed and cried whenever it was time to take medicine, and the nurses kept trying to force Grayson to eat and drink.  David and I knew it needed to happen, but we also knew, as his parents, that he would eat and drink when he was ready.  The more he was forced, the more he would resist.  Also, for some reason, the nurses couldn't understand how to dose his medicine every 4 hours.  At one point, the nurse even had to counnt on her fingers when the next dose should be and she STILL GOT IT WRONG!  Our whole stay, David and I had to remind the nurses to give the pain medicince, and, most of the time, David had to give it to him.  By about 5:00pm, David and I were ready to just sign Grayson out and take him home--the IV (and the fear of dehydration) was the only thing that kept us there.

 

David ended up staying at home that night, and I stayed at the hospital with Grayson.  We knew how important it was that at least one of us get some sleep.  All night, the nurses kept coming in and out of the room.  I knew they needed to, but I didn't think they needed to slam the door open and shut every time.  Needless to say, this Mama wasn't pleasant by the time morning came around.

Grayson woke up at 5:30am screaming in pain.  I ran out to the nurses' station and asked them if it was time for him to have some pain medicine.  I couldn't believe how non-chalantly the nurse said, "Oh, it's past time."  Was she seriously telling me that Grayson wasn't given a dose of his medicine??!!  When I counted back, I realized it had been almost 8 hours since the last time they gave it to him.  That was the last straw.

 

Grayson screamed and cried because he hurt so bad, and he refused to eat and drink.  By that time, he hadn't had anything in almost 24 hours.  There was a cloud of worry hanging over my head because I knew he had to eat and drink something before they would discharge him.  I had already come to terms with the fact that we would be in the hospital another night.  At one point, he was so upset and out of control that he threw his cup, hitting me in the face.  I ended up with a fat lip.  I started crying--it hurt, and I was so upset for my baby boy.  I couldn't believe this was all as awful as it was.

 

I have never been so relieved to see my husband (and he never looked so good to me) as he did that morning when he walked in at 6:00am carrying doughnuts and Starbucks.  Thank heavens he was here with me once again.  I chugged my coffee and ran to the bathroom to hide (and take a shower).  I was just so overwhelmed and worried about Grayson.

 

By the time I came out, David had worked his magic.  It's amazing what that man can do, and how much Grayson just adores him.  I walked out of the bathroom to find that Grayson had eaten, not 1, but 3(!!!!) doughnuts and was drinking cups of chocolate milk.  Thank you, Lord!!!!  That meant that we would be able to go home sooner than later. 





 

 

By 10:00am, we had been discharged and we were ready to head home.  I don't think I could have packed our things any quicker than I did. 

 

We arrived home around noon, and Mom met us there with Finnley.  (It was her first birthday!!)  We tried to get the kids settled in, but that never really happened until bedtime....

More on all that later, though.    :)

 

 

Thanks for checking in on us!  We love you all!

Dear Finnley...

My dear Finnley Elizabeth,

I sit here tonight, the night before your first birthday, a ball of emotions.  One year ago today, I was packing my bag and heading to bed so I could get up at 3:30am the next morning to meet you.  I remember how excited I was that night: I was finally going to meet my daughter.  For almost 10 months, I had dreamed about this moment.  I had waited with such aniticipation for the instant that I would lay eyes on you, hold you in my arms, and kiss those sweet cheeks.  For even longer than that, though, I had waited for the day I would be a mom to a girl.  I guess there is just something about a mother and daughter relationship.  Your Grandma and I always have had the type of relationship where we talk 100 times a day about nothing.  I couldn't wait to have a daughter of my own and have that same relatioship with her. 

To say that your Daddy and I had prayed for you...well, that's an understatement.  Just a short time earlier, our hearts had been shattered when your older brother or sister went to live with Jesus.  Honestly, we weren't sure we were ever going to be able to get over that loss.  I remember how scared I was the day that I took the pregnancy test and found out you were on your way.  Of course, I was excited, too, but I was overwhelmingly scared.  The miscarriage left me with feelings of failure as a mom--that I had done something wrong and caused our baby to die--and I didn't want to let you down, too.  But, sweet girl, you were a force to be reckoned with from the moment you were conceived, and I soon learned that I had not a thing to fear.

I often joke and say that you have always been high maintenance...and I suppose it's not entirely a joke.  For 39 weeks and 4 days, I was sick as a dog.  (Well, except for that 1 week, week 30, when I thought I finally had relief.)  There were so many nights that I would simply eat cereal because I couldn't keep anything else down--and then I would end up running to the bathroom anyway.  I lost almost 10 pounds the first trimester and struggled to put on any weight my entire pregnancy.  I had 4 ultrasounds in the first 9 weeks because you were sitting so low that I kept having miscarriage scares.  And the headaches--oh girl, you gave your Mama some doozies.  In fact, we ended up in the hospital around 29 weeks because I was so sick from a migraine.  But, true to form, you scared us once again when your heartrate spiked to 200bpm and would not slow down.  (I think you must have been getting us ready for many moments in our future when you will scare us to death, as your Daddy and I did our parents.)  But, finally FINALLY, after all the drama of pregnancy, January 6 arrived, and it was time to meet you. 

You screamed before the doctor even pulled you out of my stomach.  I remember hearing that sweet cry, and feeling a rush of relief and immense love wash over me.  You were here.  My daughter was here.  This precious little girl was here.  And she was mine.  It was love at first sight, Finnley.

Since that day, my love for you has only multiplied.  We have had a special bond from the moment I heard your cry, and that closeness has only increased in the last 365 days.  And, honey, you are so so so loved by the men in your life.  Your Daddy and brother are going to protect you from whatever it is that the future holds for you...but, I don't think they will have to, because you are quite the fighter already.  I love to watch you wrestle with Grayson, dance to your dad's singing, run to me when I walk in the house, follow Grayson around the house just laughing and yelling, watch you snuggle with your Daddy in the rocking chair, and hear you say "Mama" in that precious voice of yours.  You amaze me with how smart and independent you are already.  If you are mad, you let us know by trying to fling yourself out of our arms and onto the floor--and you have done that since you were 1 week old.  You know what you want, and you want nothing less.  That is just one of the many qualities I love about you. 

You have brought us so much joy.  You have only increased the love in our family.  And, honestly, you have mended our broken hearts.  Finnley, you saved us.  I still miss our sweet Angel each and every day, but I also know that God saved you specifically for us--you were hand-picked to be our daughter--I see that in your eyes.  I am so so grateful for you. 

Mommy and Daddy love you so much, Finn.  We can't wait to celebrate your birthday with you!

The house of blahs

My poor baby girl is sick.
Really sick. 
Fever of 103.6 for 2 days, thick green snot, coughing, ulcers on her tongue.  Just the worst.
And she's miserable.  :(
I feel so badly for her, and I wish there was more I could do for her.  Thankfully, she is sleeping a lot today, and I hope that will help her to feel more like herself soon. 

I'm also hoping that Grayson doesn't catch whatever it is that she has.  His surgery is scheduled for Saturday morning, but they won't do it if he's running a fever.
He was running a low-grade fever yesterday, and I had a huge freak-out moment. 
He seems okay today, though.  I'm praying it stays that way!

We had a quiet New Year's Eve around here.  David had to work, and Finn was sick, so we just stuck around here.  We were supposed to have a fun dinner with our neighbors, but we had to cancel because we didn't want to expose their son to the ickiness. 
Grayson was in bed by 8.
Finnley was up and down all night. 
I finally fell asleep on the couch around 1:30am, and was up again at 6:30am. 
Boy, how times have changed!!

I still haven't taken our Christmas decorations down.  Maybe I will get to them today, maybe I will wait until later this week.  I haven't decided yet. 
Our lights are still up outside, but we haven't turned them on this week. 
I am hoping we don't get a fine from our neighborhood association since they are still up.  Yep, that's just another thing to worry about!!

Oh, and the big news of the week: Finnley turns ONE on Sunday.  I can't believe it, y'all. 
Where has this year gone??!!!

That's it for now. 
As always, thanks for checking in!  We love you!