Life goes on

Once again, my mind this week has been on sweet Baby Bledsoe, our Angel Baby. One of my dear friends found out last week that her little baby also went to Heaven, and those all-too-familiar feelings came rushing back to me. I struggled to find the words to comfort her, which struck me as odd. I mean, I knew exactly the thoughts that were going through her head, the exact ache in her heart that is constantly there, and the guilt that no mother of an Angel Baby wants to admit feeling. Why then, was I having such a hard time?

Truthfully there are no words to say. There is nothing that can bring comfort in that time. The only thing that heals is time. And time does heal...eventually. Because life does go on. Time moves on. The hurt lessens, the memories fade, and new heartaches come along that we focus on. I still think if our Angel every day. Every. Single. Day. And my heart still aches every day. Every. Single. Day. But, it doesn't make me cry anymore. It doesn't knock the breath out of me anymore.

It does still bring me to my knees, though. I thank God for those 12 weeks that we had with our little one. Those 12 weeks were full of a roller coaster of fear, surprise, joy, anxiety, sadness, and worry. Those 12 weeks forever changed our family, and the relationship between David and I. I dream now of what our baby is experiencing in Heaven...I find myself jealous that he or she is in the arms of Jesus while I am here in this world full of sin and hate. I can't wait to hold my baby, and I thank Jesus for holding him or her until I can.

I like to think that our baby and my friend's baby are buddies in Heaven, just as we are in Earth. And, I told her that the other day. In fact, I said that Jesus must have His hands full...and He does. He is holding our precious Angels.

So, time does move on. And I'm thankful for that. I know my friend will be, too...eventually.