Due Date

Yesterday was a hard day. I did my best to write a post that wasn't depressing, that didn't show how I was really feeling, that got my mind off the heartache that I was feeling all over again. I was successful, for the most part, at keeping my feelings inside when I was around others...but I most certainly couldn't hold back when I laid in bed to go to sleep last night.
Yesterday was the day we had scheduled to have Baby Bledsoe #2, our sweet child in Heaven.

I had about a million mixed emotions running through me all day yesterday. Of course I am thrilled to have our sweet daughter growing stronger, bigger, and healthier in me each day. And, of course, I know how blessed we are to have celebrate Grayson's birthday this past weekend. But, I still think every day about the baby we lost. Was the baby a boy or a girl? Would the baby have looked more like me or David? What would we have named our newest child? And, I keep thinking about how we should be holding our baby in our arms, kissing and hugging our gift from God, how we would soon a be bringing that baby home to our house, home to its big brother, and home to us...had our baby lived.

I don't think I will ever get over the loss of that baby...and the loss of all the dreams I had for our child. I know that I could never adequately express in words what I have in my heart. I guess I just want to ask that you all keep our family in your prayers. We love you all.