I'm really struggling right now with balancing all aspects of my life: being a good wife, a good mommy, a good employee, a good friend, and a good me. It's hard. I think part of reason it is so hard is because of the expectations I put on myself. Please remember that these are simply how I think I should be in each of these roles, not how I think every woman should be.
In my mind:
A good wife: makes dinner every night, always keeps the house clean, folds and puts away the laundry right away instead of leaving it in the dryer, does the meal planning and grocery shopping, stays in shape, spends time with her husband, and always looks good for her husband.
A good mom: sits and talks with her kids, plays with them each and every day, loves and comforts them at all times, reads them stories, keeps them healthy and clean, takes them to all their appointments, attends parent/teacher conferences, is slow to get overwhelmed, doesn't yell, and never makes them cry.
A good employee: gets all paperwork in on time, completes all hours every month, solves all problems right away, and is effective in changing behavior.
A good friend: spends time with her friends either in person or on the phone, listens to their problems, calls or texts for no reason other than to say hi, doesn't cancel plans because of being tired, remembers important dates, isn't judgmental, is honest, and accepts all faults.
A good me: is patient, slow to anger, doesn't yell, doesn't curse, doesn't judge, doesn't compare life to others; is calm and loving, someone who people enjoy spending time with; someone who can do it all.
The past 6 months have been a whirlwind, and I have realized that I can't do it all...but that doesn't stop me from trying and from feeling the guilt and failure each and every time I come up short. More often than not, I feel like I take one step forward and ten steps back. My kids eat crap, my husband is constantly worried about one thing or another, I am unhappy with the way I can never seem to catch up (let alone get ahead), and it all just keeps piling up. Ugh.
(Now, that I got all of that out, you can see, that, despite my best efforts, I'm not perfect.)
The other day, I was listening to the radio in the car, and I heard a little story that really struck me. It was a story about a man who told his wife an kids, "You are enough for me." for some reason, those 5 words have stuck with me. Maybe I'm aiming too high. Rather than aiming to be perfect, maybe I need to aim to just be enough. Being enough for someone isn't a bad thing--they are completely satisfied with enough. They have enough of my love, enough of my attention, enough of me to fill them.
Will my kids really notice the difference if they wear the same pajamas to bed two nights in a row or if they don't have the newest and coolest toys? Will my husband really love me any less if I pick up take-out one night instead of making dinner (although lately it's been take-out every night). Will my friends really care if would rather hang out at the house and drink a glass of wine than get all dressed up for a night out? Will my boss really get angry with me if I can't solve the problem right away, as long as I give it an effort? Do I really need to care about that zit on my chin?
I don't have to be perfect. But I have to be enough. Enough for my family, my boss, my friends, and me.
I leave you with pictures of the 3 people in this world who are always enough for me:
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